Destroy This
by d o u g h b o y s
Summary: In Breaking Dawn, when Alice left, what if her note had said something different...? [Rewrite and continuation of an old fic of mine! Rated M for future chapters.]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but you probably already knew that.

**AN: So, this is a story I wrote originally (and never updated) on my old account, which you can find through my profile if you want to read this in its original (and poorly-written) form. I've decided to polish it up a bit and continue it, albeit much less frequently than my other stories (I'm shooting for once a month or so on this one, I just really want to focus on Drown and Rebirth). It got pretty positive reviews despite its quality, so I'm hoping a little revamping (pun possibly intended) will make the readers I directed here happy :) Here we go! As it was originally, the first two paragraphs and the line after that are directly quoted from Breaking Dawn.**

I darted through the door, pulling it shut behind me. I went straight to the bookshelf. Alice's scent was fresh—less than a day old. A fire that I had not set burned low but hot in the fireplace. I yanked _The Merchant of Venice_ off the shelf and flipped it open to the title page.

There, next to the feathered edge left by the torn page, under the words _The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare_, was a note.

_Destroy This._

Underneath her instructions was an address, followed by three words that made my heart swell with a mixture of familiar warmth and sadness at her departure.

_I love you._

The words burned into my retinas, calling forth a million memories of Alice: kissing my cheek, smiling at me, dragging me into store after store, all with the same look of carefree joy in her eyes. It was as if she was trying to remind me that she'd always be there, even though she was now gone.

Gone.

That was another thing I didn't want to think about. How could she just up and leave us, without a word? How could she up and leave _me?_ She was the one that came back when Edward left, the one who saved me from myself and saved me from the darkness that he left behind.

"Bella," his voice called from the door.

"Give me a minute, Edward," I replied, my voice wavering. Nodding, he stood there and watched me patiently. My breathing, though unnecessary, hitched. I tried to quell the memories Alice's words had called to the forefront of my mind as I memorized the address on the note and tossed it into the fire. Edward and I ran back to the Cullen home without a word.

"Any news?" Carlisle asked upon our return. I looked to Edward to explain, not trusting my voice. As he began to relay what I had discovered to the others, I walked over to Renesmee and pulled her into my arms. She placed her hand on my cheek, and showed me Alice's face, questioning.

"I don't know where Auntie Alice is either, Renesmee. I'm sorry," I told her, carrying her upstairs with me to sit at the computer.

I pulled up the address on Google Maps. It was in Seattle, a place I had actually driven by once or twice before.

"Edward?" I called from the room. He was upstairs moments later.

"Yes, dear?"

"Take Renesmee. I found where she is, I have to go, now."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I flew out the door, taking Alice's car without a thought.

* * *

Speeding down the roads at a speed I'd never known before, I was sure I would catch a ticket—but nobody seemed to notice the blur of canary yellow that was me in Alice's Porsche. I closed my eyes for but a second as I took in a deep breath, Alice's comforting scent wafting over me. I wanted to stay in the little cocoon of her scent for...well, forever, but I was soon arriving at the small building she had sent me to.

I walked up to the door, anxiety seeping into my skin. It swung open before I could knock, in typical Alice fashion. She threw herself at me, her arms fast around my waist.

"Finally," she breathed, trembling as she clung to me tightly.

"Alice," I murmured, wriggling out of her grasp just enough to look her in the eyes. I nearly regretted that decision, however, when I was struck with the pain I saw in those honey-colored depths. "What..."

"I love you, Bella," she said emphatically.

"I love you, too, Alice," I replied immediately. "Why did you have to go? Why so sudden?" She shook her head at my response.

"No, Bella. _I love you._"

"I..." I didn't understand. What was she saying? Alice, my best friend? Of course she loved me. But she seemed to mean it in a way that went much deeper than friendship. Was that even possible? All the sleepovers, the hugs, the shopping sprees...they were the epitome of friendship, or so I had thought.

I was snapped out of my inner musings by her body shaking violently against mine. Tearless sobs wracked her body, and I pulled her into me instinctively.

"Oh, Alice," I whispered. "I'm so sorry..."

"I know," she got out between sobs.

"I...I love you, too, Alice, but I am _in love_ with Edward..." I hated to say something like that to her. I knew what it would do to her, but she had to know. "I just can't see us..._together_, like that," I breathed into her hair, closing my eyes. There was something about her, about her genuine love and her trust, that made me wish I did feel that way for her. Something about what she meant to me that made me want to take her pain away above all else. And to know I was the one causing it crushed me.

Alice nodded silently, her sobs subsiding into sniffles and quiet trembling. I ran my fingers through her hair in a way I hoped was comforting. I tried to imagine what she was thinking, but I had never seen girls as anything other than friends or classmates before. But Alice...well, she was beautiful. Anyone could see that. And she had a heart larger than anyone I'd ever known. I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I realized if Alice had courted me first, I probably wouldn't have married Edward. Even _with_ Jasper around.

"Bella?" She asked quietly, finally looking up at me again. I couldn't help the sadness that seeped into my eyes when I locked my gaze with hers again. I pushed some of her hair back behind her ear that had escaped during our embrace.

"Alice..." I said her name with some hesitation this time.

"Please, Bella," she whispered, "may I kiss you, just once?"

**AN 2: Yay, more character development! I didn't like how I sort of had them just fall together in the original fic. There was a lot of emotional development missing, especially considering it wasn't listed as AU or OOC. It's still a bit rushed, but at least it kind of makes sense now lmao. Let me know what you think! Once the original three chapters are rewritten and up, remember that I'll be only updating this once a month or so :P**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Twilight because the only relationship Alice and Bella had in the books was subtext.

**AN: You guys are quick on the draw! Already some favorites and follows, and I just posted chapter one a few hours ago! Let me know in a review how I'm doing, and let me know if you think anything needs to be dramatically changed—I'm just going off of the original story, but I am open to changing things around a bit since my writing style and everything has developed since then. Aight, here we goooo~**

My eyes fluttered as Alice rained kisses across my bare skin, and I could hardly believe how we had come to our current position—her arms holding me tight, her hard nipples pressing gently into my back. Every time her lips met my skin I felt the same spark that shocked my lips when they met hers for the first time. I closed my eyes and sighed quietly, remembering how my world seemed to burst and then rearrange itself around everything that was Alice in that moment.

"Thank you," she murmured against my skin, her fingers playing with my sparse pubes. I leaned further into her as her free hand came to cup my breast. A bolt of heat shot straight from my chest to my core, tempting me to take her over and over.

"Alice," I breathed when her fingers slipped between my lower lips, spreading the wetness that was quickly gathering there again across my folds. Edward once told me that the pull of your mate when you're a vampire was impossible to resist, and as soon as Alice's lips graced my own I knew what he meant. Just thinking about it made me feel phantom flutters in my unbeating heart.

I felt less guilty than I think I should have when I thought of Edward—my husband, who I was now cheating on...with his own sister. It was wrong, terribly wrong, and there was no way this could have a good outcome, but I couldn't stop myself as soon as our lips met. I think maybe Alice knew that would happen, knew that we were supposed to be. I wondered how long she knew.

"You like this, don't you, darling," she murmured, bringing me out of my thoughts. A ghost of a moan passed my lips as she slid one of her fingers deep inside of me.

"Oh, Alice..."

She hummed, almost chuckling, as she rolled me over and pressed our lips together one more, her finger stroking my insides deftly. Suddenly, however, she froze up, locked in a vision.

"Shit. Oh, shit. Why didn't I see this," she cursed under her breath when she came back to the present. She hurried to fix the bed and put her clothes back on. "He's coming," she called behind her as she ran to the bathroom to wash her hands and face.

Well, fuck. I hurried to follow her; we had just finished straightening out our hair when we heard the familiar hum of a Volvo engine pull into the small driveway.

I opened the door, staring at his face, willing myself to feel anything other than disappointment at his arrival as I gazed into his eyes. He looked past me, his eyes lighting up in relief as he spotted Alice. A very serious Alice who seemed to be concentrating as if her life depended on it—I realized with a start that it probably did. She didn't have a mental shield to block the powerful memories we had created. I cursed myself for not training as hard as I should have been to extend my shield.

"Alice," he sighed, exhaustion in his voice. "I couldn't read you, and you suddenly disappeared without telling us, I thought you had gone for good!" He paused for a moment, reading her, as she shook her head. "Jasper couldn't stay? You couldn't leave Bella...then why..." Confusion ran over his features, his brow knitting as he tried to understand what Alice was trying to tell him subtly. She sighed in frustration and turned to me.

"Bella." Her voice held no room for questioning. I looked into her eyes and saw a thousand emotions behind her concentration—determination, need, fear…

She strode over to me, nearly gliding with false confidence, but I noticed the subtle trembling in her fingertips. She rested her hands on my waist, gazing into my eyes. I was instantly grateful for my shield as a hundred memories of her lips upon mine—upon my skin—played behind my eyes. She was silently asking me to do the explaining for her. I tried to come up with a reason to do anything but that, but I found it impossible to resist her.

"Bella?!" Edward's confusion and agony ripped through the room as my lips met Alice's, her hand coming up to cradle my head as I wrapped my arms around her, trying not to pull her into me. I heard Alice try to suppress a moan, and I knew Edward was seeing the memories Alice and I shared in that kiss. She was intoxicating, and I wanted more, even with my husband pacing furiously mere yards away.

A noise halfway between a cry and a growl clawed its way out of Edward's chest as Alice pawed at my chest, my body leaning into hers instinctively. How could I have been so blind? How could I have missed what was in front of me all this time? How did I never even wonder at the heaven that was Alice's love? I kept my eyes pinched shut, unwilling to look at Edward's face any longer.

"God, Alice," I murmured against her lips, which trailed down to my neck, her teeth nibbling on my ear. I sighed as she snaked her tongue around my ear and...was suddenly gone?

My eyes snapped open and landed on Edward's form, pinning Alice to the wall, growls rumbling forth from both of their chests, Alice's rising in volume steadily.

"No!" I cried out, and he hesitated—just long enough. With Edward reading Alice's visions and her seeing his moves, it would be an equal match. I had to stop him. I couldn't let him hurt her—_my_ Alice. I launched myself at him, letting my instincts take over.

**AN 2: Yay, chapter 2 all polished up :) A little more sexiness, a little more thought. Chapter 2 of Rebirth will be out later tonight, just putting the finishing touches on it now. I considered adding another chapter before this one that actually went through their first time together, but I think I'm going to stick to how I wrote this and maybe do some flashbacks later or something. There's going to be plenty of "action" in this fic as-is, I don't want to overwhelm the people who are here for plot too much :P**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I'm still not in possession of any rights to the Twilight Saga. Nope, nope.

**AN: Ooooooooooooookie dokie, hello readers, it's been much too long. I won't bore you with excuses, just a quick apology for the delay. Blows my mind how many there are of you now, I never thought I'd get this sort of feedback! For those of you following my other stories, I'll try to update them as soon as I can. LEGGO.**

The training I'd undergone with Jasper and Emmett kicked into gear as I launched myself at Edward, my world seeming a blur to my conscious mind as my instincts led the way. In my protective rage I was unpredictable, and caught him off guard, knocking him away from Alice immediately.

He tried to block my attacks, but my shield hid my intentions. Without his gift, my newborn strength overpowered him quickly. A vicious snarl erupted from my chest as I slammed him into the ground. _You will not touch her!_ My inner vampire screamed, echoing inside my head.

"Bella!" He cried out as my hands pinned him by the neck.

"What," I replied, grave and monotone. My crimson eyes were like steel against his pained brown-black.

"Don't you _love_ me?" He gasped, struggling to speak against the pressure I held him with. "Was I not the perfect mate? Was I not everything to you?"

The desperation and hurt in his voice—tinted with fear—broke through my hard exterior. I softened a little and rose to my feet, contemplating.

"You...you _were_, Edward, but...that was a long time ago. You _made_ me happy once, and I _do_ love you. But it hasn't been as it used to be...Alice has _always_ been here. When you left, it was _Alice_ that I wrote to, and _Alice_ who came back. And yes, I married you, because I've always told myself that you were the _one_. And I knew that marrying you would make me a permanent part of your _family_. Because I love you all...but I never gave thought to exactly _how much_ Alice means to me. And maybe I _still_ don't know, but what I do know is that her devotion to me is unwavering. And that she has always been concerned about _my_ feelings and _my_ thoughts and has always given _me_ the chance to _decide_ and she _never, _not _once_ questioned her ability to protect me, and–"

"_Enough!_" He cried, pain etched into his stone features as he slowly rose to his feet. "I hear you...and you're right. It _kills_ me, and I don't agree with this...your...the_ two of you_, but what you said? You're _right, _Bella_._ And I'm so sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry."

My heart felt as though it seized in my dead chest as he removed his wedding band and slipped it into his jeans pocket. It felt as though my legs were going to give out.

_It's over_, I thought. _Just like that, it's over._

I glanced at Alice, needing her unwavering strength, but she was frozen—locked in a vision.

"Edward!" She gasped, reaching out to him suddenly. "Don't! Don't you _dare._"

"Alice, what–" I began.

"You can't just _leave us!_"

"Watch me, Alice. Watch me."

And with that, he was gone. I felt my unneeded breath rush out of my lungs as I collapsed, mind racing, into Alice's arms. She pulled me close, tucking my head under her chin.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered. "It hurts, to see him go, but it hurts me more that he would treat us like this...that he would be so disapproving."

"Oh, Bella," she murmured into my hair, her fingers tracing patterns on my back.

"Is it so bad of me to wish he would accept us?" I asked, leaning back to look at Alice's eyes as they slowly returned to a shade of honey. "Is it so bad of me to feel this relief that he's gone?" My voice wavered, nearly unable to give life to the feelings that were leaving me so conflicted.

"_No,_ Bella," She replied, almost immediately. "Don't you for a _second_ think anything you're feeling is wrong. Everything you feel is real, and is for a reason. Of course you feel relieved—you just said you married him because of what you _told yourself_. Not what you _felt_. Tell me what you feel right now, Bella. Don't be afraid."

I hesitated, searching her eyes and finding nothing but conviction and trust, and that undying love I'd always seen but never known.

"I feel...safe here, Alice. I feel _safe_ with you. I can feel how much you love me just in the way that you hold me. _God_, how could I have been so _blind_?"

"You're not the one with the gift," she cut in, winking and tapping her temple with a smile. I couldn't help but give a weak one in return.

"But how could I have not seen everything you are to me? Every feeling I brushed off in favor of friendship? How _desperately_ I needed you when you all left?" I shook my head, exasperated.

"It doesn't matter now, Bella. Not anymore with you in my arms," she murmured, pulling me close again. I basked in her embrace, allowing myself to just feel the two of us—no interruptions, no one to tell us what was right or wrong. _Speaking of others…_

"What will we do about the rest of the family, Alice?" I whispered. She shrugged.

"They'll just have to accept it. I'm not leaving your side." She spoke with such conviction, such devotion, that I would have cried if I could. It felt so corny, but I couldn't believe she'd give up her family, her home, of _decades_ just for me.

"I can't believe you'd give it all up for plain ol' me," I mumbled, voicing my thoughts.

"Of course I would," she replied, lifting my chin to look at me again. "I'd give it all up just to _see_ you. You're all I've seen for _years_." I paused, unsure what to say. What she said felt so heavy, but at the same time so freeing.

"I love you so much, Alice," I murmured, leaning in and pressing our lips together once more. It still felt like the first time, so much love and so many butterflies flying through my chest.

We embraced for a while—I'm not sure how long, but it felt like hours. Eventually, however, we knew we had to return to reality. We slowly moved towards the door, knowing we had to but not wanting to face the rest of the family.

"Can you see their reactions yet?" I asked as we slipped our shoes on. She shook her head.

"They don't know what we're going to tell them, and we haven't decided how we're going to. I can't know until someone decides something." I could hear the discomfort in her voice.

"You feel blind not knowing." She nodded and sighed quietly. I kissed her forehead gently, hoping to soothe her for the time being, and opened the door. She gasped quietly upon looking outside, so nearly silent I hardly noticed.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked, my anxiety spiking at the thought of another vision.

"It's...you chose _my_ car. Why not yours? Or his?"

I hesitated, trying not to stammer. "I don't know, I just...grabbed your keys, I was in a rush." If I could have blushed, I would have. She smiled, kissed my cheek, and hopped in the driver's side. I looked at her in confusion before patting my back pocket gently. She noticed this, and giggled, holding up the keys.

"I can't believe you didn't notice, little miss newborn!" I rolled my eyes at her and slid into the passenger's seat. Leave it to Alice to make a joke before we go face her entire family with news like this.

"You just couldn't resist touching my butt, you little minx," I jested in return.

"Oh you know I can barely keep my hands off of you," she husked back in a tone that sent electricity straight to my core.

"Don't test me or we'll never get back," I growled quietly. She simply chuckled, tossing her head back before peeling out of the driveway.

**AN: Yaaaaaay, chapter! It's a bit longer than the others, I hope it was almost worth the wait ;-; Also...we're going into uncharted territory! There is more to the original "Chapter 3" than this, but I didn't like how I wrote it and I _really_ didn't like how I "resolved" things, so I'm going to be completely reworking that in Chapter 4, which was never even finished in the original. I'm trying to make Alice a little more bubbly and three-dimensional than the way I originally wrote her. Hopefully it's working out. Leave me a review and let me know how I'm doing!**


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